Do You Obsess Over His Ex?
Plenty of women go through their guys’ phones, pockets, drawers, and even their car trunks to try and determine whether or not they guys' ex is still in the picure but, how many woman turn this invasion of privacy into an all out “Obsession”?
According Merriam-Webster, the definition of obsession is “a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling”.
Here is my take on the situation:
When I first saw an image of my husband’s ex appear on my television screen, I was sick to my stomach. She was drop-dead beautiful; thin, polished, well manicured, and had hair that seemed to flow in slow motion like a romance movie… Simply beautiful! It WOULD be just my luck that MY husband (or future husband as we weren’t married at the time) would have an ex who was an actress but, hey, that’s how life goes sometimes! Although the thought of my husband having an ex who happened to be an actress made me extremely uncomfortable, I didn’t exactly obsess over the situation as I let the uncomfortable feeling rest for a moment and then quickly got rid of it. At the end of the day, ladies, you have to have enough “self” esteem and trust in your guy to know without a shadow of a doubt that his ex is his ex for a reason! No matter how much he may have liked or loved her in the past – she is just that… his past. Trust me, I understand the complexities of various relationships; he may have been close to marriage with this woman, invested in a business venture or real estate with her, or even went through a major crisis that shook up both of their lives… Whatever the situation, you have to bring yourself to a point where you are able to accept & acknowledge his past and then proceed to move forward with him into his future.
Think of obsession as a form of cancer; if you don’t get a good grip on it early, it can spread into other stressors such as depression, anxiety, self-hatred, and even an undeserved lack of trust for your guy when nothing wrong has occurred! Outlets like facebook are enabling women who have serious obsession issues… I know of a situation where a woman set up a fake facebook profile just so that she could “friend” her guys’ ex and keep tabs on her! I mean, seriously, why put your self through all of that mental stress? Obsession can easily be translated into a lack of trust and if it isn’t nipped in the bud early, you can run the risk of pushing your guy away instead of bringing him closer to you… Is that really what you want to do?
© 6/14/2011
